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Monday, July 23, 2007

Yes,it's been a long time since I last updated my blog,well,I don't even know if someone visits my blog for any matter,but I don't care. :)

1st sem has been hectic for me.July pa lang super haggard na 'ko,what more sa mga darating pa na buwan.
Actually,you can almost dig my eyebags,well, literally and figuratively =p
I'm loving nursing na but there's a part of me that wants to hate it because I can't even find time for myself anymore.Good thing,my girlfriends are there to support me all throughout the way.I'm looking forward for our community service in our NSTP subject and Health Care RLE.It's going to be lots of fun,I'm sure.

As for my new section,all of us are getting along pretty well although there are 'groups' in the class,still we know when to be united especially now that TUA-SLCN will be trimming the 27 sections to i-don't-know-how-many in 2nd sem.I just hope I'll be able to pass their standards or if not,I'll look for other nursing school,it's my last option in case.

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It's been long since I felt this kind of feeling.Although he doesn't know that he's the one I've been blabbing and ranting all the time, it's still fine with me because I'm not complaining and I won't even dare to complain.
But as the days pass by,I've grown tired of loving someone who doesn't even have a clue on what I'm feeling.
I'm sick and tired of waiting for him to completely be over someone who doesn't even appreciates his wholeness and individuality.Yes,I'm not forcing him to completely forget about her because in the first place, he met her first before me but don't you think it's a little bit OA to love someone who pushed you away for already 2 years?Okay,I'm not complaining but I'm getting weaker and weaker each day.

He makes me smile and makes me laugh even with the little and simplest things in life.He made me see how beautiful life is, he's actually the one who encouraged me to love my course.He picked me up when I was very down and when I was at my ugliest.He's my confidante and a very loyal FRIEND.
I don't know if he feels something for me,I don't even want to know what he feels because I'm afraid I may not be able to take it the right way.My heart has been crushed many times,those whom I trusted and gave my love just threw it away and I'm afraid that it will and might happen again.I'm scared to feel lost and alone once more--friends and family is out of the context.

Yes,we see each other every week,text each other until the wee hours of the morning but am I getting what I deserve?Or I'm just seeking for more although I know in myself that it's very impossible to get it.

He makes me happy and feel secure but,yet,he makes me sad--once more. =(

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loved by DANA 9:36 PM