LETTING GO


Things right now are quite different.I've finally decided to end all the connections I have with this person--well,not totally.You see,I've been so attached to this person for this past few months, considering the fact that I've just known him back in summer.I missed being with him every week,hearing mass every Sundays,late night phone calls,exchanging text messages until the wee hours of the morning but I had to end things sooner before anything else begins.I just wish I could go back to the way we once were.But I had to let go,he was not mine in the first place,I need to give him up although the pain kills me because I know this is the best way for the both of us.I need to grow all by myself--without him.

My personal life really needs an overhaul.Studies are FRUSTRATING.I've never gotten this grades in my enter life.I felt that I've been thrown into a pool full of ice.I was in shock upon receiving my Humanities test paper.Wtf?!I need my minors to pull up my grade so I can maintain the 2.00 GPA needed to be able to step into third year, for me to be able to wear the blue and white milkmaid uniform.My dreams are now being torn into pieces--bit by bit.But I'm letting go of that frustration.I still have semi-finals and finals although it's too short.I need to believe in myself.What's the use of being in the qualifiers for honors during my secondary years if I will not use it diba?

Sometimes, letting go is the best option.

Labels: lovelife, school, stress

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Yes,it's been a long time since I last updated my blog,well,I don't even know if someone visits my blog for any matter,but I don't care. :)

1st sem has been hectic for me.July pa lang super haggard na 'ko,what more sa mga darating pa na buwan.
Actually,you can almost dig my eyebags,well, literally and figuratively =p
I'm loving nursing na but there's a part of me that wants to hate it because I can't even find time for myself anymore.Good thing,my girlfriends are there to support me all throughout the way.I'm looking forward for our community service in our NSTP subject and Health Care RLE.It's going to be lots of fun,I'm sure.

As for my new section,all of us are getting along pretty well although there are 'groups' in the class,still we know when to be united especially now that TUA-SLCN will be trimming the 27 sections to i-don't-know-how-many in 2nd sem.I just hope I'll be able to pass their standards or if not,I'll look for other nursing school,it's my last option in case.

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It's been long since I felt this kind of feeling.Although he doesn't know that he's the one I've been blabbing and ranting all the time, it's still fine with me because I'm not complaining and I won't even dare to complain.
But as the days pass by,I've grown tired of loving someone who doesn't even have a clue on what I'm feeling.
I'm sick and tired of waiting for him to completely be over someone who doesn't even appreciates his wholeness and individuality.Yes,I'm not forcing him to completely forget about her because in the first place, he met her first before me but don't you think it's a little bit OA to love someone who pushed you away for already 2 years?Okay,I'm not complaining but I'm getting weaker and weaker each day.

He makes me smile and makes me laugh even with the little and simplest things in life.He made me see how beautiful life is, he's actually the one who encouraged me to love my course.He picked me up when I was very down and when I was at my ugliest.He's my confidante and a very loyal FRIEND.
I don't know if he feels something for me,I don't even want to know what he feels because I'm afraid I may not be able to take it the right way.My heart has been crushed many times,those whom I trusted and gave my love just threw it away and I'm afraid that it will and might happen again.I'm scared to feel lost and alone once more--friends and family is out of the context.

Yes,we see each other every week,text each other until the wee hours of the morning but am I getting what I deserve?Or I'm just seeking for more although I know in myself that it's very impossible to get it.

He makes me happy and feel secure but,yet,he makes me sad--once more. =(

Labels: lovelife, school, stress, thoughts

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I've been depressed for about a week already and I lost weight,now that's something. :)
I can't tell my feelings towards someone because I'm SCARED,yes,I am a scaredy cat.I'm not a risk taker and I think I don't have guts to be one.

Anyhow,evernthough I'm feeling crappy I still managed to keep my faith despite of it all.I'll get through this.Sana nga.

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I'm officially enrolled.On the 13th of June,I'll be a sophomore student already.Oh yeah,I continued my course.Bait na bata ako eh.This sem will be a Jhonna-full sem.My new camwhore buddy. =)
I'll miss my old blockmates though.Abby and the rest of my girlets,how sad.

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I miss him na! :(

Labels: lovelife, school

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Our plan to do our research has finally been confirm this morning at UP Science Lib.
At long last, me and my groupmates are finished collecting sources needed for our paper which will be equivalent for our final exam, meaning we don't have written exams anymore but..DEFENSE.

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Had our lecture and lab quiz at Zoology and I swear, I'm not sure about my answers in our lecture quiz for I haven't reviewed well because of that English paper,darn it!And I haven't answered 5 items in our lab quiz as well for I forgot the parts of the dorsal muscle of my frog.huhu. :(

I've been caught, actually me and my groupmates were caught by rain before our 1:30 class which is Zoo in T.Morato because we had our lunch at Sizzling Stop.And now,I am suffering from colds.I'm such a sickly person and I hate it.

I HATE MONDAY!This day hasn't been good to me. :(

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Tomorrow will be our defense for our Filipino paper.I would want to kill two of my groupmates ( not literally )
because they are not paying such effort to our paper.I don't even know if they understood what I have discussed them about our paper.Grrr.

SUICIDAL WEEK, here I come..again. :x ( I thought it was over )

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It was such a nice feeling being with him again last Saturday night.How I wish it would always be like this.
If only...

Labels: lovelife, school, stress

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I'm so stressed-out today, as in.Went at UP Lib,Science Building along with my friends-slash-groupmates to do some research for our English paper.We arrived at the Lib for outsiders at around 4:45 in the afternoon and were not anymore allowed to enter because they'll be closing at 5 pm.Waah,nakaka-frustrate.Nasayang lahat, effort, oras at pera.Peste kasing English paper yan eh.Ba't kasi hindi na lang i-accept yung Collection of Readings namin?
Baka tuloy pumunta pa kami sa UP sa Monday,take note,may palaka akong dala nun,kamusta naman?
Ayoko na.Yung eyebags ko humihingi na talaga ng saklolo.I miss my bed. :(

Buti na lang,we've already submitted our Chapter 3 in Filipino.We just have to discuss about our defense which will be next week.SUICIDAL WEEK 'TO.


OT:

I miss him na. :(

Labels: lovelife, school, stress

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Yes,I had my layout done na.So girly with full of sweets, since this past few days, I've been craving for sweets. Actually, tomorrow will be our Semi-Final exam in CE 102 and I haven't even scan my notes, I'm such a crammer.tsk.

Piles of paperworks are waiting for me.Filipino paper, English paper and my everdearest Zoology report.
I swear, my Zoology prof is fond of having last minute changes,ack!She's generous in giving grades though. ;)

This week is a HELL WEEK.

And plus, my heart is temporarily in the Intensive Care Unit.Things are messed up,I may say.

Labels: lovelife, school

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