It's all coming back to me again. :(
I slept at around 3:45AM because I was busy texting with someone very special.
Yes,I loved him before but we both know that were better off as friends.

2 months ago,he told me that he'll be leaving the country to have a vacation at California with his dad.I thought that he will be coming back here right on time for the opening of classes but I guess it wouldn't be that way.He's not sure if he'll still be going back because the decision is up to his father, so more or less he won't be coming back anymore.He'd left for the states this 8 in the morning.Sad :(

I'd certainly miss him.He's one of my true friends although I just met him last year.A confidante,a kuya and a joker is what he is to me.He'd make me laugh when I'm down and would cheer me up whenever I'm frustrated about my studies.Aww,I wish he didn't have to go.

Saying goodbye has never been easy for anyone.I remember November of 2006 when I also shed tears for a friend who had to migrate on the States and now I am on that situation again.I wish to see him again someday.I'LL SUPER MISS HIM.

So to you,kilala mo naman kung sino ka eh.Mag-iingat ka dun ha?Pakabait ka.If mag-decide tatay mo na pabalikin ka dito sa Pilipinas,sabihin mo agad sa'kin para ako unang bubulagta sa gate ng bahay n'yo.Mamimiss kita ng sobra,wala na akong ka-puyatan at kaasaran.Kumain ka ng marame dun,gusto ko pag nakita kita ulit mataba ka na.Basta I'm just a buzz away lang naman sa YM or itext mo ko,rereplyan kita kahit mahal.Bleh!Labyoo Yatot.

Labels: friends, moments, thoughts

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At last,I have a new layout.Haha.I just find cupcakes cute although I don't eat them.I just love looking at them because of their colors.

Anyways,I haven't been attending the required summer classes for nursing students since I'm not yet enrolled.Crap!But I'll be enrolling na next week since the start of the summer classes of my future school will be starting on Monday and their allowing transferees to enroll late.Hahahaha.

Actually,I'm having second thoughts regarding my course, on whether I'll pursue it or not but I think I will since sayang naman ang 2 taon na pinaghirapan ko.Hopefully 2 years more then goodbye college.Oh,I'll still be taking the Local Board Exams since I don't have plans yet of getting employed abroad maybe it'll take time to convince me to work on foreign land as a nurse.

I told myself that if ever I get to finish nursing I won't get myself a job in another country eventhough it means that getting a lower pay.Of course I want to provide for my family and get them a better living but for me, I can give them that without me living the Philippines.Haha.I'm being Nationalistic.

I'm not against those who take Nursing as a ticket to settle their foot on foreign land because I know how hard it is to earn money here in our country.Its just that, it isn't my thing yet.
Who knows diba?I may eat up my word but not for now.

Err.I think I should end this stuff.,it's nonsense.I know. :P
Goodnight everyone.

Labels: school, thoughts

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Second sem had officially started last Monday and as expected there were only orientations during the first meetings in some of our subjects and some of our profs didn't even bothered to drop by in our class,even just for the checking of attendance.

I'm in 2nu24 right now and I miss my old blockmates,those perky faces,high pitched voice that you'll hear in the 4 corners of our room.Good thing 11 of us came from 2nu27.Oh,we even thought that our class will be dissolved due to the number of the students enrolled but our MicroPara adviser told us that we won't be dissolved anymore because were almost 30 students.Sections 11 and 12 are the ones who'll be dissolved so were just waiting for those who'll be added in our section.

Btw,I was elected as Class Treasurer.I ate up my word.LOL.I told myself that I wouldn't be a Class Treasurer--ever.But it did not turn out that way.Hahaha.
There are only 5 set of class officers and 3 of those came from 2nu27 last sem.Hahaha.
We outnumbered the rest of those who came from other sections,were like one big barkada.
Gawd,it made me miss the bond of 2nu27 and I certainly miss Yna,my Kupsi,she enrolled late that's why she wasn't able to be a nu24 student. :(

This Second Sem will be a challenge for me.I need to make bawi with my grades.
Even if I can't continue my course in my present school,I'm still determined to make it until the end--until the end of the second sem.This is the only chance I get to get it through.

Labels: school, thoughts

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What would you feel if it seems like your efforts are being thrown into trash?
I feel useless,stupid,idiot and a disappointment in all.I've really tried my best but I guess my best wasn't that enough.I tried everything that I can just to excel but I still think it was useless.

I used to be full of hope in everything I do.I have faith in myself.Even if others around me are losing hope,still,I cheer them up in the best possible way but this time arund,I'm the one who's LOSING HOPE. Please,help me try to regain myself,to see the positive side of all the things that is happening around me, to still smile inspite of all the shits life has been throwing at me lately.Help me pray,I really need it. *sighs*

Help me not to lose hope, to regain my hope in everything I do.please :(

Labels: stress, thoughts

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Dana's in constant need of steroids right now.Could someone please give me.
You see, things are beyond human's control but we can, however make things better,right?
I'm just getting desperate each and everyday to find the real meaning of happiness.
Material things doesn't content me for I'm not a materialistic person, sure it makes me glad receiving this and that but in the end of the day I'm still waiting for that nirvana to come within me.

Friends and family do make me happy and satisfied yet I know something's lacking.
May it be someone?something?I don't know either which of the factors might be missing but I know there is something.Oh yes,I'm being redundant.

I am desperate and waiting and hoping and wishing. *sighs*

Labels: thoughts

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FOR NURSING STUDENTS AND NURSES


I was hungry and i could not feed myself
you left my food tray out of my reach
on my bedside table
then discussed my nutritional needs during nursing conference

i was thirsty and helpless but you forget
to ask the attendant to refill my pitcher
you later charted that i refused fluids

i was lonely and afraid but you left me alone
because i was not cooperative and never ask for anything
i was in a financial difficulties and
in your mind i become an object of annoyance

i was a nursing problem and you discussed
the theoretical basis of my illness in which you dont see me
i was though to be dying and thinking i couldn't hear
you hope i wouldn't die before it was time to finish your day
because you had an appointment at the parlor before you evening date.

you seem so well educated, well spoken and very neat
in your wrinkle free and spotless uniform
but when i speak,
you seem to listenbut you dont hear me

help me care about what happen to mei'am so tired, so lonely and very afraidtalk to me, reach to me, take my handlet what happens to me matters to you.. PLEASE NURSE..

* I got this from Charm's site, I was touched so I decided to post it here.

Labels: thoughts

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Due to the suspension of classes and boredom,I put the dvd of my 18th birthday in the dvd player and watched it over again.And so while I'm watching the video,it made me go back to that very night wherein I am overwhelmed with the number of people who came.

But I haven't notice that it has been 7 month since I turned 18.I felt that I've haven't outgrown being 17--yet.I feel that January just passed by but I'm still stucked into 2006 mode.
It made me realize that I still need some maturity and lessen my being a 'brat'.

I used to complain about the things that doesn't go my way,but I'm learning to accept the realities of life.Yes,I'm becoming much mature now.Contradicting isn't it?but some things are really contradictory in life.Life is never been made to be simple,we should be appreciative of it though.

Being 18 really teaches you many things.You should be responsible enough to take care of yourself and all the things that is happening around you and the way you decide for yourself.


Err,am I talking non-sense here?Or am I becoming self absorbed?Just bear with me.

********************************

Brr,No classes again tomorrow--All levels!

Labels: thoughts

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Yes,it's been a long time since I last updated my blog,well,I don't even know if someone visits my blog for any matter,but I don't care. :)

1st sem has been hectic for me.July pa lang super haggard na 'ko,what more sa mga darating pa na buwan.
Actually,you can almost dig my eyebags,well, literally and figuratively =p
I'm loving nursing na but there's a part of me that wants to hate it because I can't even find time for myself anymore.Good thing,my girlfriends are there to support me all throughout the way.I'm looking forward for our community service in our NSTP subject and Health Care RLE.It's going to be lots of fun,I'm sure.

As for my new section,all of us are getting along pretty well although there are 'groups' in the class,still we know when to be united especially now that TUA-SLCN will be trimming the 27 sections to i-don't-know-how-many in 2nd sem.I just hope I'll be able to pass their standards or if not,I'll look for other nursing school,it's my last option in case.

*********************

It's been long since I felt this kind of feeling.Although he doesn't know that he's the one I've been blabbing and ranting all the time, it's still fine with me because I'm not complaining and I won't even dare to complain.
But as the days pass by,I've grown tired of loving someone who doesn't even have a clue on what I'm feeling.
I'm sick and tired of waiting for him to completely be over someone who doesn't even appreciates his wholeness and individuality.Yes,I'm not forcing him to completely forget about her because in the first place, he met her first before me but don't you think it's a little bit OA to love someone who pushed you away for already 2 years?Okay,I'm not complaining but I'm getting weaker and weaker each day.

He makes me smile and makes me laugh even with the little and simplest things in life.He made me see how beautiful life is, he's actually the one who encouraged me to love my course.He picked me up when I was very down and when I was at my ugliest.He's my confidante and a very loyal FRIEND.
I don't know if he feels something for me,I don't even want to know what he feels because I'm afraid I may not be able to take it the right way.My heart has been crushed many times,those whom I trusted and gave my love just threw it away and I'm afraid that it will and might happen again.I'm scared to feel lost and alone once more--friends and family is out of the context.

Yes,we see each other every week,text each other until the wee hours of the morning but am I getting what I deserve?Or I'm just seeking for more although I know in myself that it's very impossible to get it.

He makes me happy and feel secure but,yet,he makes me sad--once more. =(

Labels: lovelife, school, stress, thoughts

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Yes,everything's getting better and better and I'm feeling much ok now.
Going out with my bestfriends really helped and the weekend trip to Batangas to visit my relatives really did help.

I can face tomorrow in an optimistic way now.Yaay for me


OOh, just so you know,I've been feeling a bit odd and crappy this past few days which lead me to a certain depression that I cannot explain and I pretended to be fine in those days wherein,in fact, I'm not.Weird?Yeah. :/

But as I said,everything's running smoothly.

Labels: thoughts

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